I understand that life events do not always go as we plan or how fast we want them to go. Life events are not always certain to favor you or your loved ones. When life occurrences are not favorable to you, all you need is self-evaluation not self-pity. What?! Yes, self-evaluation would show you what went wrong and what could have prevented it.

Furthermore, it would show you what can be done to get through or get out of the situation. Self-pity places emphasis on what went wrong only and hinders you from seeing how to get through the situation.

Studies have shown that self-pity only sabotages the “slightly good” that can be seen in any “not-so-good” situation. It also hinders you from embracing potential opportunities. You will have those moments when your expectations are not meant as you journey through life. When such moments happen, self-pity party is not the next best thing to do. Self-pity is time-consuming and yields no result that can be helpful.

Many years ago, I lost my job due to incompetence after working excellently for several months with this organization. Hearing the news was devastating. Being asked to leave the office without saying goodbye was heartbreaking. I was immediately led out of the building. Having understood the useless result of pity party, I immediately decided to take actions. I informed my friend who recently told me about a position he had skipped. I also applied to two jobs before I left the premises where I was fired. In order to be brief, I was hired by another company within ten days. Thanks to my friend for his recommendation!

Having a self-evaluation after a negative event shows that you are willing to take responsibility. More importantly, it shows that you are willing to take action that would better your situation. Evaluation often reveal that life’s unexpected events could be worse. Personally, gratitude always surface after I reflect or evaluate what went wrong in my life. Gratitude sessions often open the door for the not-so-good to be the turning point for a great milestone.

Getting out of life’s unwanted circumstances would be easier when you choose to quickly evaluate what happened. Additionally, you will be better off when you focus on how to prevent them. On the other hand, self-pity increases unhappiness and obscures the opportunity left in the situation at hand. So when next something unpleasant happens, take a moment to do an in-depth self-evaluation. Always remember that you need self-evaluation not self-pity in any situation!