Forgiveness is not about the offender but about you

There are two primary reasons why we should forgive someone who has offended us. As a Christian I grew up being taught about forgiveness. “Forgive one another” was and is still a common phrase. Forgiveness is a great Christian value. Jesus did it for us all and we should do it for others. However, there are a lot of other reasons why we should practice forgiveness and do it as soon as we can. While giving people allowance can be a way to prevent people from doing us wrong, it is fair to be prepared to forgive people. Avoidance of emotional pain is not a guarantee that someone will not unintentionally hurt us. Expect not the best from people but don’t expect the worst as well. So, kind of put them in the middle. But the primary reason why we should forgive people is because it gives us freedom. Forgiveness gives us peace of mind and more importantly, it saves our time. Nobody is perfect. Imperfection lies around everybody. We all make decisions and can make mistakes that can cause us to offend somebody else. So, when somebody offends us (I know some offences are so difficult to let go), If you can let go, let it go quickly. If you cannot let it go easily, I want you to keep reading. I would tell you why you should forgive.

1. Forgiveness gives you freedom. When you forgive somebody who has offended you and you let them know that you are doing so, what you’re doing is giving yourself freedom to keep navigating life around that person. So, for example, if somebody says negative thing about you in your absence and you have a proof that they said it; you go walk up to them and say, “Hey you said something bad about me. It’s okay. I have a proof of you saying it but it is okay! It’s your opinion of me. It’s a lie but I choose to forgive you”. Whenever you see that person, you will live your normal life around them. It give you freedom around them because you already brought it up to them. So they know that they screwed up once. They can screwed up again. If you don’t forgive them, what would possibly happen is, when you see them, you don’t want to move close to them. You would have been unnecessarily or excessively careful if you did not let them know.

2. Holding grudges against somebody who has offended you is a waste of your memory bandwidth and time. It’s a waste of your natural resources! This is the time that you could be using to think about something else, how to start a new business, how to serve, learn about a new thing etc. Spending some time to think about what could you do in revenge to that person is not fruitful.  Whenever you see that person or walk up to them, there are some thoughts (possibly negative) running in your mind. If you combine the time spent thinking about what this person has done, you would probably has wasted at least fifteen to thirty five minutes thinking about so many negative or unnecessary things. No! Just forgive and say, “Hey, Jesus want me to forgive you, I’ll forgive you. Also I want to forgive you because I don’t have the time to be thinking about you. I have better things to do. So, I don’t want to think about you”.

Ladies and gentlemen, forgiveness is not easy. I would never dismiss that. It’s time to accept that for us to have the freedom around people who have offended us, we have to forgive them. Don’t think you’re doing them a favor by not forgiving them. You’re doing yourself a disservice for not forgiving them.

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